http://www.religionjournal.com/showarticle.asp?id=1165

Widow of 9/11 Pilot Tells of God's Love
Her ideal life suddenly turned to tragedy on Sept. 11, 2001.

ReligiousJournal.com

A wife who became a widow on Sept. 11, 2001, is telling audiences around the country how God is lifting her from devastating circumstances – and how He can do the same for others.

"My story is that I was crushed and God gave me strength," says Cheryl McGuinness, whose husband, Tom, was the co-pilot on American Airlines Flight 11, the first plane that hijackers flew into the World Trade Center.

She and her daughter, Jennifer, delivered keynote addresses last week at Congress 2004, a Christian conference held in Boston.

Cheryl was 40 and Tom 42 the day the hijackings occurred. Their lives together had been ideal.

Tom was Cheryl's dream come true, her childhood sweetheart. He was 18 and she 16 when they met in high school. Several years later "we got married, just knowing we would live happily ever after," Cheryl said.

Tom progressed in the Navy as a fighter pilot flying F-14s, then flew for American Airlines. The couple had two children, Jennifer and Tommy. "It just got better and better," Cheryl said.

"Tom would play catch with Tommy for hours in the back yard. Every day the two of them would play pingpong after dinner. Tom and Jennifer enjoyed talking about anything and everything ... friends, relationships, anything," she said.

Tom and Cheryl were Bible-study leaders in their local church.

"My family had much joy, peace, contentment, and it flowed into all parts of our lives. Everything was fine. I was a normal woman living a very happy life."

On the morning of the terrorist attacks, Tom gave Cheryl a kiss goodbye and left for work. She recalled that in her last moments with her husband, "I told him one last time how blessed I was to have him in my life." The couple had been married 18 years.

After driving the children to school, she poured herself a cup of coffee and sat down on the back porch with a quilt and her Bible.

She had just finished praying when the phone rang. It was a friend asking if Tom was home. Soon she learned that a plane had been hijacked.

"My house quickly filled with people. Women prayed with me until the chief pilot from American Airlines got to my house and gave me the official word. Flight 11 had not only been hijacked, but had been deliberately flown into the World Trade Center," Cheryl said.

"I was hysterical. I screamed, 'No, God, please don't call him home, please,' just begging God with everything I had. Then I went to tell my kids. They knew by the look on my face I had bad news. Can you imagine telling your children what I had to say? All I could bring myself to utter was, 'Jesus called Daddy home.'

"We hugged and cried, and I reassured them that God would take care of us. I can't imagine doing anything more painful than telling my children that news."

In the months following, Cheryl has felt crushed, alone and confused.

"I've grappled the toughest of all possible questions. Why did this happen?" she said. "I ask, why Tom? For that matter, why me? And what about my precious children? Who will walk Jennifer down the aisle some day? Tommy's dream was to be a father-son flying team – with Tom as captain, Tommy co-pilot, Jennifer the flight attendant, and I was the first-class passenger. I know Tommy will still be a captain some day, but there are times I wonder if I will ever figure all this out."

Many people ask her how she copes.

"God has strengthened me. He is bringing me out of the depths of despair. I know I can make it. I know that God will give me the adequacy I need," Cheryl said.

"All of this has been so imposing, but the key to my strength has been prayer. My prayers are mostly just crying out for the Lord to hold me, comfort me, strengthen and help me. I ask God to help me adjust to being a single mom and a widow. Some days all I can do is groan to God on my knees. I know He hears my prayers."

She is grateful for the support she has received from friends, and says God is also using her children to strengthen and comfort her.

"Jennifer was driving to school one day and she said to me, 'Mom, I'm so glad you're not angry at God.' I replied, 'I'm glad you're not angry either.' Jennifer nodded, 'I know God didn't cause this to happen. God is getting me through this. He is my strength.' Another night, I was crying and Tommy put his arm around my shoulders, gave me a hug and said, 'Mom, everything will be all right. Our life on Earth is so short. Our life in heaven with Dad is for eternity.' "

Today, Cheryl says she still feels the pain and anguish of losing her husband, but is strengthened by faith in a loving and sovereign God.

She recalls a conversation three months before the attacks, during which Tom talked to her about how a friend had lost his wife.

"I told him I didn't think I could live without him if something happened to him," Cheryl said. But Tom told her that if anything should happen to him, she should trust in God and surround herself with church members for support.

Cheryl, who was shy before 9/11, spoke about her faith at her church, and subsequently was invited to speak at prayer services after a business convention. She did it and soon found herself traveling around the country to tell her story.

She says prayer has given her the strength to speak in front of thousands of people. One or both of her children usually accompany her on trips.

"It's personal what I share. It's my life. It's my heart. ... In time of pain and suffering, it's a message of how to get through the trials we have in our life through trusting God," she says.

She has a Web site called Beauty Beyond the Ashes, is distributing a video about her testimony, and plans to publish a book in August.

Meanwhile, she serves in church on the women's ministry leadership team and as a small-group Bible-study leader.

"I know I have a purpose in this life," she told The Boston Globe. "It's because of Sept. 11 that I can encourage many others."

She's received money from several of the funds established after the attacks and from the federal Victim's Compensation Fund.

"God was faithful and provided an award that has allowed me to rebuild my life and take care of my children in a way that I can continue to work in a career and ministry to lift other people up," she told the Portsmouth (N.H.) Herald. "My hope is that people going through the deepest darkness can turn to the Lord of life, Jesus Christ."

On her Web site, she says: "My story is that I was crushed and God gave me strength. I felt alone and He surrounded me with support. ... A few weeks before Tom died, he told me to trust in God if anything ever happened. Something did. And it was terrible. But I am trusting God and finding that He truly is trustworthy.

"Something will inevitably happen in your life as well. Trust God. His Word is reliable, His character is dependable, His power and love are inexhaustible." Photo used with permission from Beauty Beyond the Ashes.