I PROFESSED AT AGE ELEVEN . . . .
I grew up about 12 miles from _______ convention. I professed when I was 11, along with 2 of my sisters. My mother professed before she was married but we seldom got to meetings when I was small. My Dad never professed. He had some dealings with 2x2's and got cheated badly when I was a child so he figured most of them were hypocrites. My oldest sister professed for a few months and then quit forever because the workers wouldn't give her straight answers to her questions and she could never believe that the way was from the beginning without a man starting it. She always said that the fun went out of life when we all professed, something I didn't realize until much later. I guess we were in pretty good books with the workers as we loved them and they loved us. We enjoyed having them come and visit at convention time. I can remember standing to my feet at convention to make my choice and just doing it to follow Jesus in what I thought was the only way to heaven. I never did get any joy from it. I worked very hard at salvation after that keeping a very high standard in the workers' eyes. I was good at going to just about every meeting but I was starting to hate it deep down but kept that well hidden. It was all appearances because in my heart as I grew older it seemed something was very much missing and I never could "get" it. I would meet other people who said they were Christians and they seemed to have a lot more joy than what I ever had and I kept wondering why when I was in the Only Way. The older I got the more depressing I found it to be to have to look like Victorian aged women. I think the legalistic rules on appearance is a lot harder on a woman than a man. After professing for 35 years my sister starting looking into things and gave me "The Secret Sect" and "Has the Truth Set You Free?" As I read these books I started to realize that the 2x2 way was wrong and I quit right there and then in my heart and stopped going to meetings about 4 months later. It was when I read in Luxon's book about the right doctrine and found out for the first time in my life that Jesus was God Himself come to die for me that I believed and was saved. It was like a light went off in my brain and a huge ton of bricks lifted off my shoulders and my heart was filled with a tremendous joy for the first time in my life. I have always believed that Jesus was the Son of God and was from everlasting to everlasting and was divine and was sitting in heaven interceding for us, but I never got saved from that. I didn't know about Salvation by Grace or how to accept Jesus into my heart as my Saviour but believed in the 2x2 system as the perfect and Only Way for my Salvation. It's been over four years now that I've been set free!!! In the 2x2s we were trained not to show our emotions for anything. An old 'loving' worker at my mother's funeral said to me, "Just remember when you cry you're only crying SELFISH tears," which implied very strongly to me that it was wrong to cry and sent me on a GUILT trip - major. I can remember the terrible pain of having to hold it all in to keep up appearances. About ten years later I put a question about it in a hat at a question and answer meeting and the young worker there said, "Oh a worker wouldn't say that, it must have been misunderstood." So much for unity. After my mom's funeral it was a major turning point for me. The workers all came tumbling off the pedestal. I found that neither they nor the 'friends' had any comfort or care to give but left me alone. I also think that sometimes we don't "get" it about Jesus being God because God has to open our eyes and reveal it to us even if it's plainly stated. It used to upset me a little when my husband would tell people that it might not be the only way but it was the best way, because I KNEW it was the ONLY way. And when people would ask us what we believed he would tell them about Trinity (this actually only happened about 3 times in 25 years) and it would just blow right over my head. Even though I thought it was kind of neat, it sometimes made me a little uncomfortable as I never heard any one else ever say those things. But mainly I was just glad that he could tell them what he believed because I sure never could. Now I KNOW in Whom I Believe and am Saved by Christ the Great and Almighty God and Saviour, 8/96back Thank you for visiting Cephas Ministry Inc. (www.cephasministry.com)