I LOST MY CHILDHOOD TO THIS CHURCH . . .
My mother was raised in a seemingly quaint little church which had always been referred to as "The Truth". My Grandpa had always had Sunday morning meeting in his home, and did so until the day he died. It was always held on our family that Mom's church was right...all others were worldly and wrong. Our family was very divided. My mother had left the church for long enough to marry my Dad, who was a staunch Catholic. With my mother's whole side of her family immersed in "The Truth", my brother and I were always infused with the belief that Dad's church and all others that met in a building or had paid preachers, were wrong. My brother did not buy it...he remained Catholic, but I was very close to my mother. Mom decided to go back to "The Truth" when her marriage was beginning to fall apart. I was about twelve years old, and she asked me if I wanted to go along. The only expereince I had had was just at the meetings at Grandpa's house...I had never been to a gospel meeting. It was unclear to me how Mom even knew about this meeting....she must have been planning to go for some time. Soon, mother re-professed, and I professed for the first time at the age of 13. I remember telling my Dad I did not want to be Catholic anymore. He was furious. In two more years, my parents were divorced. You see, my mom did not tell my Dad she was going back to her old church. Her appearance just started to waste away. It was the end of it all, and the beginning of so much more.
I lost my childhood in this church...trying to live up to the "image" of the sister workers. I was told what I could and could not do in school...I was a singer...instead I had to be in band. I stayed in to please my mom...but I never had any friends. I was a little overweight, and did not have the boys pining away for me like other girls did...(after all, what WAS convention for? It seemed that was all the girls ever did was chase the boys for four days!) I did not fit into this scene. At the age of fifteen my brother began dating a lovely girl named Sarah. She used to give me Amy Grant tapes for Christmas, and recorded a lot of Christian contemporary music for me. I was thrilled!! I loved the music!! Mother told me to beware, but it was too late. I had already had many conversations with Sarah...about what she believed, and the joy she had AS A CHRISTIAN.
But I was scared, and a year later I professed again, because I had stopped taking part for awhile before that...especially after talking to Sarah, and having many other doubts besides. It did not last, though, because Sarah introduced me a girl named Ann just two weeks later. Ann invited me to her church, and it was the most breathless experience I have ever had. People were praising and worshipping God as I had never seen...I was scared out of my mind!! But somehow I knew that God deserved that praise...and no one in "The Truth" ever even TALKED about Jesus (outside of meeting), much less praise Him like this!! So I excitedly told Mom what I had found...that I had given my heart to Jesus and I was saved. She was so upset that she cried!!! She told me that Sarah and Ann were GOOD people, but they were going to hell!! I did not believe it for a moment...I simply asked Mom to prove, FROM THE BIBLE what she said about my friends. She could not.
I am out...for good. I chopped off my hair right after I left, not to prove anything, but the feeling of knowing God loved me NO MATTER WHAT was wonderful....and it still is!!
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